STANFORD, CA—During the muted celebration that followed a prosperous experiment anticipated to revolutionize the field of bioengineering, scientists at Stanford University expressed ambivalence Friday about the breakthrough technologies they applied to bring Adolf Hitler back to life. “I’m proud of our team’s efforts and the unprecedented advancement we have produced, but we acknowledge our perform does raise valid issues about the consequences of bringing Hitler back into the globe,” stated biogeneticist and project head Loren Anthony, explaining that the researchers had currently been forced to weigh the worth of their scientific progress against the points the genocidal dictator had shouted at them considering the fact that his corpse had been reanimated and he had regained consciousness. “He’s been walking about our lab sieg-heiling and providing speeches that, even with my restricted German, I know cannot be fantastic. On the other hand, science and technologies will have to move forward. As we speak, there are likely other scientists functioning to resurrect Stalin, Pol Pot, Idi Amin, Leopold II, and Genghis Khan, so it is only a matter of time. These points are inevitable.” At press time, the scientists had been testifying just before Congress and asking the government to regulate their study, saying they surely had no potential to quit such perform on their personal.

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